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34 Funny Santa Fails

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santa scaring a small kid

It’s that time of year again, friends.

That time of year we we all make magic happen for the little ones.

That very, very special time where we make merry and (not infrequently!) terrorize children with mall Santas.

In this great tradition I give you this:

Bad Santa!

Of course everyone’s hoping for an adorable photo for the Christmas card.

santa scaring kids

But despite his good nature and the fact that he delivers a lot of gifts, kids seem to find this jolly fellow to be – well, straight up terrifying.

Yet somehow parents continue to try for the glory shot despite this fact of life.

kids scared of Santa

As The Rolling Stones once told us, “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need.”

And what you need, apparently, is this collection of children absolutely not having it with Santa.

Santa Fails of 2019

kids scared of Santa
1. I love this kid so much. She isn’t so much afraid of Santa as she is straight-up pissed at Santa and at the entire world for putting her in this position. This is the face of a child who will one day lead a very effective protest outside the capital.
boy flailing off Santa's lap
2. There is nothing I’m not impressed by in this image, starting with Santa’s transition lenses and ending with his grip. This boy is….less impressed.
blond boy crying on Santa's lap
3. You have to give it to this Santa. He’s like, “let me work with this!” even as his co-star is actively trying to flee the set. That takes a particular sort of dedication. I also appreciate that this Santa, in comparison to his colleague above, chose a more traditionally appealing form of eye-wear.
boy and girl on Santa's lap
4. This Santa is a straight up badass. He’s like “HO HO HOOOOOOOOO I’m in it to win it!” On weekends he throws axes at state fairs. This is my kind of Santa. He doesn’t care IN THE LEAST that little Jack is going all wet noodle on him. #goboneless
Santa hiding behind a tree
5. Ok there is a lot on offer here. Not just the 50% off shoes deal. Which brings me to the main appeal of this photo, which is that this mall Santa seems to have decided to work in a shoe store. Just kidding he had to hide and now his backdrop is all messed up. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
boy and girl dressed up for Santa
6. This little girl is working overtime to make it onto the nice list. She’s all “I know my little brother is getting coal, but please know that I am doing better.”
family photo with Santa
7. When a parent has to jump into the photo you know things are going well. But I want to acknowledge the little brother here, who is like “I’m definitely not wasting a tantrum on this guy.”
father and son with Santa
8. Again, parental involvement in the Santa photo never means good things. But this dad is keeping up a really good attitude while his kid attempts a diving pose onto the mall floor.
child crying on Santa's lap
9. You know these parents chose a perfect outfit for this occasion, but as the saying goes “A cute outfit can’t make a face cooperate.” Ok fine that’s not a saying.
woman hiding behind Santa
10. This submission is a bit confusing. I’m including it because I feel like it gives up a nice look behind-the-scenes for a mall Santa. It’s like a tiny little expose over here at A Mothership Down.
Siblings sitting next to Santa
11. Santa is phoning it in here. I get it. He’s had a long day. Much respect to this big sister who’s all I will make this photo happen! That’s the spirit kid.
kid screaming on Santa's lap
12. Please note that this kid is on “Team Santa.” Despite her face.
classic mall Santa photo with crying kids
13. Santa’s expression here is priceless. He is like I definitely do not get paid enough for this.
Santa holding 2 crying kids
14. I can imagine that Mall Santas love it when they have the opportunity to hold not one but two screaming children at the same time. It’s good for core strength and holiday spirit, so win win.
kids scared of Santa
15. We have three very different things going on here. A zen child (who looks quite cool I must say), a VERY jolly Santa, and a little girl who is using the classic “boneless” technique familiar to any parent who has ever attempted to dress a child against their will.
boy scared of Santa
16. This Santa is done. He is too old for this sh*t. Seriously, done. He is writing his letter of resignation at the end of this shot.
Santa hiding behind chair
17. Good effort mom and Santa. You work with what you’ve got.
boy scared of Santa
18. This is a truly sad face. I feel for this kid! I’m hoping he got to eat at the Food Court at the end of this experience.
child flailing off Santas lap during photo
19. Again with the jelly body. This is such a classic toddler move, I think kids must exchange notes on their best defiance tricks at some sort of toddler summit held at Chuck E. Cheese.
boy crying on Santas lap while Santa looks unamused
20. The throne here is impressive but even a glorious golden seat such as this is not enough to save this ship from sinking.
kids scared of Santa
21. Good effort for 2 out of 3 of the participants. And props to these parents for on point outfits all around.
girl crying on Santas lap
22. Kid! Your shoes are awesome. Things will get better in 10 seconds. Santa won’t want to try to contain you for much longer than that.
kids scared of Santa
23. This appears to be a twin situation. Santa is like I’ve got this I’m a pro and these kids are like we will see about that.
Child with santa and mrs. claus
24. In a break from the standard mall photos, this Santa and Mrs. Claus duo appear to be available for photo opportunities in a gated community in a warm climate. Texas? No telling. Although I will say that in New England I have never seen a white tree like that. Regional differences for a national pastime of scaring children with Santa!
calm kids with Santa
25. This Santa has a good gig, seated on a comfortable chair in front of a fireplace and not at a mall. The young child, however, looks faintly alarmed.
kids scared of Santa
26. This is amazing! All of it! The kids, the composition, all of it. This would be my Christmas card except I don’t know these particular children so it would be strange to send out a card with them on it.
family photo with Santa
27. This is my nephew. I will admit that it kind of looks like he’s laughing or maybe exclaiming with glee. But if you zoom in I think you’ll confirm that he is yelling for help while his parents work the camera from behind him.
28. Missing from this photo is the other screaming child. #Santafail
kids scared of Santa
29. Santa making a home visit did nothing to calm this child. Nice try, Santa!
brothers with Santa
30. Here you see what a little maturity can do for a child. This older brother has years of being terrified by Santa under his belt, and now he’s sitting pretty. His little brothers have a ways to go.
31. This is the face of a mother who really, really wants to salvage things. She is calmly holding a leg as if to transmit her wish through her child’s knee straight to his heart.
32. Combining Santa with the dark with the witching hour was a great plan! Clearly this is paying off!
kids scared of santa
33. The buffalo plaid outfits are working. The boots are nailing it. Doesn’t matter. Fashion can’t win against a child who wants nothing to do with Santa.
kids afraid of santa
34. The girl on the right is channeling a zombie in hopes that it will scare Santa into releasing her. Santa has seen this trick before and will not be so easily defeated.
happy baby on Santa's lap
Wait! This is a happy baby! Yes, it is. Also, this is my baby. Also, nepotism.

If you can’t get enough BAD SANTA PHOTOS you can find a whole collection of Santa Fails here!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

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Comments

  1. Diana Prince says

    I honestly thought that the photo of your nephew was one of your own kids, that’s how strong the family resemblance is. Great article! I’m already looking forward to next year’s lineup!

    Reply

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