Today is Nolan’s 6-month birthday, and I think we all know what that means. That’s right, we have come upon the infamous Mid-Year Crisis plaguing baby boys everywhere.
It’s that time when babies grapple with the passage of time, re-evaluate their priorities, and, in more extreme cases, start behaving like Charlie Sheen. Actually, the Charlie Sheen thing may be a little different, but who’s to say really.
Personally, seeing my baby hit the 6-month mark has given me a feeling of amazement at just how far my helpless fetus has come. You guys, he is now a helpless infant. For Nolan, the mid-year mark is having a profound effect. He is most definitely in mid-year crisis mode.
Wait, that’s not a thing, you say? I beg to differ.
8 Signs that Your Baby Boy is Having a Mid-Year Crisis
1. He starts hanging out with older lady babies.
You need to be especially vigilant about this on group play dates, and very particularly at baby yoga, where there are likely to be cougar cubs doing downward dog and child’s pose RIGHT in front of your little boy. It’s a hotbed of temptation, really.
Your baby may go the other way with this, cruising for younger girls. In this case take pains not to have him within eyesight of a La Leche League meeting.
2. He puts extra effort into cultivating a “bad boy” image.
Because of his limited skill set, this is most easily accomplished by the tousling of his own hair. If your baby does not have hair yet, he may achieve the same effect with an edgy onesie.
3. He gets sloppy at bars.
Your baby will not know how to behave in moderation whilst undergoing a mid-year crisis. You can try to reason with him, but a hallmark of this phase is the inability to be reasoned with. Actually, that is the hallmark of the next 18 years.
4. He goes out and buys a flashy new Exersaucer.
This is a classic move. He wants to feel hip and youthful, and his old Rock ‘N Play will appear decidedly uncool to him during this time.
5. He starts experimenting with his look.
Please be patient with your baby. He may have some fashion misses, but those of us who grew up in the 80’s are really in no position to judge.
6. He expresses nostalgia for his swaddle.
The swaddle represents his lost youth. Ahh, the good old days, when you could be wrapped up like a burrito and not be expected to master challenging tasks such as finding your own toes.
7. He begins comparing himself to more successful babies.
For Nolan, it has been a real sore spot that he can’t roll from back to front. His friend Brayden (who is exactly Nolan’s age, thus adding additional salt to the wound) has already mastered this move.
His other baby friend Daisy is not only responding to her own name, but also reaching for things that Nolan can only eyeball from a distance, trapped in his own pudge.
Naturally, at this sensitive time, Nolan is struggling with these comparisons. Not helping is the fact that he has been told that his hairstyle sometimes says “middle management.”
8. He starts his bucket list.
This probably includes visiting a variety of exotic locales (Disney World, Santa’s Village, Las Vegas) that he would like to see before he turns one. This may or may not be practical for your family, because road tripping with an infant is like running headfirst into a brick wall.
If any of the above sound familiar to you, your baby boy may have fallen victim to his mid-year crisis.
Try not to panic.
As challenging as it may be, in 99% of all cases he will emerge unscathed from this trying period. (The other 1% later becomes a pop star and gets a pet monkey. But try not to worry about that).
After the storm passes you can sit back and relax. Until the terrible two’s and puberty. {Note: Rumor has it that there are a few good years in between those events}.
Happy 6 Month Birthday Nolan!
Courtney
Some of Annie’s friends have already started making “Team Annie” shirts. Do the right thing Nolan
Liz
This is a strong move from team Annie. We’ll see what the other girls have up their sleeves. Nolan will keep an open mind.
Christina
Thats not the first time I’ve seen Nolan poop somewhere unexpected… it might be the first time I’ve seen it on a boob though.
Liz
I’m glad you bring this up. I feared it was becoming a repressed memory for Nolan. This will bring it back to his attention…
Kathleen
I think you might be a cross somewhere between Erma Bombeck (you might be too young to know who she was) and Elizabeth Gilbert (of Eat, Pray, Love) fame:):)
Liz
I need to check out Erma Bombeck. I do know of her but have never read her stuff. I love Dave Barry and Bill Bryson!
Casey F
Your blog-bot was so wise to recommend this ‘related post’ to me as it EXPLAINS SO MUCH about Maxwell. Just yesterday, he sprayed a shit-ton of Tresemme Ultra Hold hair spray into his fine locks to prepare for a date with a younger woman (4 months, the scamp!). Thank goodness he’s almost 7 months now and this will be ending.
Liz
Haha, Casey, love this comment! Yes this phase will be ending soon for Maxwell. Soon he will move on from Tresemme to Selsun Blue, which has been recommended for Nolan 🙂