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You are here: Home / All Posts / The Battle of the Bulge

The Battle of the Bulge

Published September 16, 2014. Last updated November 16, 2019 by Liz. This post may contain affiliate links.

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It’s time for the Faria family to take a good long look at ourselves in the face (and butt). We have let ourselves go. WE HAVE LET OURSELVES GO. There, I’ve said it (loudly, because capital letters means loud on the internet).

As you know, I have an 11 month old baby. The past 11 months have been amazing in many ways. But in one way they have not been amazing at all, and that would be in terms of our physical fitness as a family.

I’ll point the magnifying glass at myself first (although, if I tried that in the sun it might burn my eyes out? I feel like it might). Anyway, I have deteriorated significantly this year, and there’s no getting around it. My arms, my stomach, my hair, all of it.

Now I’m not looking for any pep talks with this proclamation. Picasso had his Blue Period. I am having my Pudge Period. There could be benefits to remaining in the Pudge Period; that way, when people are reviewing the panorama of my life, they will be able to state with confidence: “During her Pudge Period, Liz created {insert great works here}.” Anything else might just welcome confusion into my life story.

What I’m looking for is advice as to whether or not it’s even remotely worth it for me to try to rectify the situation given the fact that we’d like to try for more kids soon-ish. I’m doing a cost/benefit analysis.

This is how I’m seeing it: It will take me at least 2-3 months to get back into even decent shape. 3-4 months if I want to get into good shape. I’d like to be in shape because I enjoy things like running in road races, and walking past store fronts without seeing my arms sway in the wind. The problem is, by the time I (hypothetically) get into shape, I will have to throw it all down the drain if I get pregnant. And that doesn’t seem really worth it to me, you know?

When I was pregnant with Nolan I think I managed to run/walk at the gym about 4 times before I downgraded to the elliptical on zero resistance, before I downgraded to walking around Target. And that is where I’ve remained.

(Note: I know there are some of you out there who are able to exercise right through pregnancy – I’ve seen you leaving yoga classes, so I know you exist. But I am NOT that pregnant lady. Not at all. The second I become visibly pregnant I burn my gym clothes).

Recently I discussed this with my sister:

Me: “It’s just hard, you know? But I’m doing my best.”

Sister: “What are you talking about? You’re not doing anything even close to your best.”

Me: “Oh yeah, you’re right. I’m not sure why I said that!”

And then there’s Nolan.

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“Why are his pants fat?” – Jack, age 4, inquiring about Nolan.

If you want to know how you really look, wander into a Kindergarten classroom and just stand there for a few minutes. You will get decisive feedback.

Now even beyond the verbal proclamations of a poor physique, Nolan feels attacked in print as well. I offer you this “expert opinion”:

“Experts believe chubbier babies crawl later since it’s harder to push up onto all fours and drag their extra body weight.”

Well, I don’t think I have to tell you that that sentence was like a slap in the face to Nolan. As you are aware, Nolan has been battling the bulge for some time. Yes, he is now slimming down due to a combination of very late-blooming army-crawling and aggressive “floor dancing,” but in his soul he still feels chunky. It’s part of his psyche, now.

Aggressive Floor Dancing Workout:

Nolan’s confidence also took a hit when he was referred to on Facebook as a “lackadaisical observer type” by a blog reader. Ouch, he said. Ouch.

photo-11 copy

Lackadaisically observing the water at the YMCA.

So here’s the question Nolan and I pose to you, readers: should we even try? Should we try to find our fitness or should we just allow that we are going to remain as lackadaisical observer types for the foreseeable future? And also, should I attempt my own floor dancing routine, so that we can do a mother-son show for guests? These are the big questions.

Filed Under: All Posts, Parenting

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Toni

    September 16, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Liz, I just want you to know: you’re beautiful. hehe.

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 16, 2014 at 3:52 pm

      I hope you’re singing that a la James Blunt, because that’s how I’m hearing it in my head.

      Reply
  2. Annie's Mom

    September 16, 2014 at 2:22 pm

    You know I like a good, organized fitness challenge! Lest we forget “Fit as a Fiddle 2012”. Say the word and I will draw up the excel document. (Although I am currently in the midst of the D.A.C.T.W.Y.A.R.C. (Dan and Court Twelve-Week Yoga and Running Challenge))

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 16, 2014 at 3:51 pm

      Oh yes, I forgot about D.A.C.T.W.Y.A.R.C. That rolls right off the tongue! Court, I may be interested in Fit as a Fiddle 2014. If you recall I dominated the 2012 edition, and have the trophy to prove it! 🙂

      Reply
  3. Erin H

    September 16, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    I have so many thoughts on this, since we’d love to try for #2 next spring/summer. Ultimately I want to go into pregnancy #2 in the best shape possible. It’s not going to be any easier to lose the weight with an infant AND a toddler – well unless you simply can’t find time to eat, which is entirely possible – so why not mitigate the post-partum situation for the next go-around? OR you could take the easy route: work on creating that baby exercise empire out of Nolan’s dancing, and just spring for some lipo. Or lots of skinny mirrors.

    Somewhat seriously though, fall is an awesome time to get outside and jog, or even walk. C LOVES the jogging stroller and it makes my run an even better workout. My running is nothing like it used to be but it makes me feel more like “me” and I love sharing it with C.

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 16, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Erin, I do see potential in the exercise/dance empire for babies. Nolan is very interested in this opportunity as well!

      As for the jogging stroller – I need to try again with that. I have the Bumbleride, and I use it for long walks but haven’t done much jogging with it. I need to get back out there and see if I like it, because Nolan definitely enjoys it. Ahhh I do miss unencumbered running though!

      Reply
  4. nicola

    September 16, 2014 at 4:25 pm

    Liz, this cracked me up! I think I’m going against the tide here but I say let it all go!! It’s one of the few opportunities in life where you can gain a few pounds and no-one bats an eyelid…you still have a young baby so that’s your excuse, and all the better if you go again – prolonged excuse period, more Mama for Nolan to cuddle 🙂

    Seriously, I wouldn’t worry but I would try get out for nice long walks as much as possible (to the cake shop).

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 16, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      That’s why I love you Nic! I’m getting like a million comments on Facebook telling me that I need to exercise NOW because I’m a ROLE MODEL and need a healthy pregnancy! Ahhh! I was kind of leaning toward just letting myself go for a few more months. Then, you know, becoming super hot later.

      Reply
  5. Amanda

    September 16, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Best. Dance. Ever! Nolan is just adorable. I developed an abdominal hernia while in my first trimester with Loralei, my second daughter, only 7 months after my first daughter, Addison, was born. I was in yoga and power-walked regularly with Addison but with Loralei and a hernia, the yoga stopped and the walking slowed. I took a good long look at my ass yesterday and I’ve decided after my hernia repair surgery next Wednesday I’m going back to yoga and power-walking. I miss my old ass. It was beautiful and high and round. Now it’s like a half filled bowl of jello. Hubby loves to slap it but the jiggle is getting to me. Jeans are my fave and fall is coming, it’s time to get my ass back! Join me! Let’s bust out the jogging strollers and return to beautiful asses!

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 16, 2014 at 10:16 pm

      Amanda, I just want to say that I love this comment! And I’m sure your ass will be returning to its former glory shortly.

      Reply
  6. Michael Homer

    September 17, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Excellent and funny post! The one thing I would say is…do a little math! (Bet you weren’t expecting that, right?) babies and mom as do better (on average) when the momma bear has a lower BMI. It’s not easy, it is not fun at first but it seems a lot of people find it fun eventually. So you know how much you gained with your last. Really try to get back to your original weight before the next baby bomb comes around and you will have a lower chance of c section, OB complications, baby issues, etc… If you are at a normal BMI then don’t worry about the distribution of things. Just stay healthy now so you have a better chance of staying healthy later. Good luck and keep the floor dances going!

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 17, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      Thanks for the tips Michael!

      Reply
  7. Whitney

    September 17, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    So I laughed out loud right here at my desk, this post is awesome! I can totally relate. Those baby cheeks are precious, I love baby butts!! I’m trying to get back into shape, but like you we definitely want another baby so why try?! I wish I had the answer. I’m giving me “all” for 3 more months and if I see results great, if not, knock me up!!!!

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 17, 2014 at 8:53 pm

      Ha! I love it Whitney. Go big or go home!

      Reply
  8. Cathy

    September 18, 2014 at 7:21 pm

    oh this is one of my favorites and so funny. Why go through all the bother getting in shape when you are going to gain it all back and then some… Just tune into that song “because I am built for comfort, I ain’t built for speed” lol

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 18, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      Ha! I don’t know that song but I am making it my new personal soundtrack as of now!

      Reply
  9. Lisa

    September 21, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    My son is four months and wakes up twice a night (lately). I’ve learned that I need a minimum 5-hour stretch to feel even remotely interested in exercise, and just haven’t been getting this! To all you lovely readers out there, what do you do when all you want to do, and all you think about every day, is SLEEP?! It doesn’t help that my running shoes no longer fit…

    Reply
    • Liz

      September 22, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      Yeah, totally in the same boat. The only thing I have found manageable is long walks, which I do like in the nice weather. But naps are so so tempting!

      Reply
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  1. The Friday Five | A Mothership Down says:
    September 19, 2014 at 7:33 am

    […] readers! What a strange blogging week. My last post, The Battle of the Bulge, resulted in a LOT of concerned citizens of Facebook asking about my BMI and pleading with me to […]

    Reply

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Welcome to the Mothership!

Hi! I'm Liz, mom to 3 young kids. Like all of you, I have tons of free time on my hands to ponder the complexities of motherhood. Ok I have almost no time, these kids are taking me down. I write this blog to find camaraderie with the rest of you in the trenches. Welcome! Read More…

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