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We leave for Disney in T minus 10 days, and the reality that my traveling companion is a toddler intent on fleeing from me like a convict making a run at a prison break is starting to sink in.
The trip is next week, and although my fears are escalating I have not taken this as a call to action to get ready in any way, since I like to play possum and just freeze when I get overwhelmed.
So, to date I have done exactly two things to prepare, which are to buy a baby leash and to cut Nolan’s hair:
He looks very much like an incontinent marine now, which I’m totally fine with as he’s likely to remain cooler without this situation resting on his head:
As for the leash? Judge me if you will. I never thought I would put a harness on my child. (But that’s only because I never had a child in need of harnessing before).
I’m going to state the obvious here, but 21 months is not the ideal age to take a child to Disney World. Wide-eyed wonder aside, toddlers are known terrorists. To be frank I’m not entirely sure that Nolan isn’t already on a no-fly list. And yet, we are about to venture forth to that great epicenter where commerce and whimsy collide: the most magical place on Earth, after Target.
Why are we making this trip, you may ask? Simple. Because of FOMO.
I suffer from debilitating FOMO (Fear of Missing Out for the 7-10 of you who are wondering) and Brian’s whole family is making the trip. I had to get in on that action! (Fact: prudence is my worst trait, based on a character assessment I did for my last job). Brian actually is quite prudent, but he’s excited for a vacation with his whole family, which they haven’t done since he was a kid. That excitement overruled his natural prudence.
But really, FOMO is why we’re going on this trip. That and the chance to make memories and yada yada yada.
Mostly FOMO.
Two competing forces are happening within me right now:
On the one side, I’m getting excited, because Disney! I love that shit. Don’t even try to tell me Mickey isn’t cool. Mickey is the boss. Mickey and his creepy giant gloved hands are spectacular.
On the other side, I’m taking a toddler to Disney. A toddler who could not successfully be maintained through a 35 minute music class and who behaved like a rabid ferret the other night when we had to wait in a long line.
He was slightly worse than a ferret, even, because people don’t expect ferrets to wait in lines. But I digress.
You know what Disney has besides Mickey and those gorgeous giant hands? Lines! Thousands of lines. Tens of thousands of lines. *I’m making these numbers up. In no way do I represent the board of tourism for Disney.
Also, heat. Florida is HOT in July. So hot that every person I’ve mentioned this trip to has laughed (really, straight up laughed) and said some version of “You’re going to Disney in July? Ha! Good luck!”
I’m not saying that I expect that things will look like this. Except yes, I’m saying that I expect that things will look like this:
There is some talk in the Faria family of getting a Disney “Memory Maker” add-on whereby the Disney photographers capture all the glory of your trip for you, but I think we’re good. This post is already full of frame-worthy images and we’re not even there yet.
Suggestions for this trip? I would particularly love tips on what to pack! And suggestions about subduing a toddler on a flight. And tips on how to stop a toddler tantrum in the heart of Epcot. And on what to do if Mickey tries to hold your toddler and your toddler tears off the character head and exposes Mickey for a human teenage intern.
But mostly on what to pack.
Bring toddler snacks. They will check your bag and I think even confiscate food items (check the rules and if they do, follow my advice!) cut out the inside zipper pocket of a cheap bag and stuff it with healthy toddler snacks. The Disney ones will kill even the most generous budget! And they kind of suck because you only have nasty sucky-sweet just to choose from. Good luck!
I like your style Kat.
Ps: Disney totally allows you to bring snacks in the park.
Disney Fastpass is the way to go. It minimizes waiting in line to a more manageable amount of time. You can only choose 3 rides per day per park prior to the trip so pick your “must do’s” and then fit in other rides as their lines are manageable. Pack sunscreen and lots of short and tanks. Embrace the craziness that is Disney with a toddler and have fun!
Yes! We did Fastpass. My sister-in-law is super organized so she sorted that out for the group. I think it will be a HUGE help!
Cocktails for fellow passengers! Sunscreen and water. Little kids dehydrate fast. And did I mention cocktails on the plane?
Done. I’m just going to set foot on the plane and immediately yell “Drinks on us! Open bar folks!” And then even if Nolan sleeps the whole time at least we can rest easy knowing we got the whole plane drunk.
Feck the rest of the plane.. You’ve got every right to bring a child on a flight. I’ve brought my 19 month old on 10 flights since she was born. Did she scream? Yes. Did she cry? Yes. Did she shut up after 10 or so minutes? Yes. The other passengers can deal. To be honest, most were really nice and made faces to entertain her. Lots of snacks, sticker books, and a few small new toys. Best of luck!
Sit by the window on the plane. 1. Nolan can’t escape and run up and down aisles. 2. The window up/window down game is hours of fun.
Im going to say it…..Drug your child….just do it and don’t feel guilty. Our 16 mo old has been on 14 plane trips in her short life (90% of these i was traveling alone with her) and I started using benadryl just for the last few trips. She sleeps more…it’s amazing… and quiet..and she’s totally fine. Make sure he won’t have that weird hyper reaction that some kids have by trying it out at home for naptime one day before you leave. I will not apologize for this.
Definitely pack your own snacks, I have been taking my kids to Disney since they were days old and I am proud of the fact that I can go in and spend nothing. I would recommend a wet wash cloth and keep in a small lunch box with ice pack to keep him cool. Bring in a water bottle to have filled at any place that serves fountain soda, they can fill up with ice water, we were in Epcot Monday and it was super hot …just be prepared to sweat. Pack some ponchos…they are $10 in the park and there tends to be an afternoon shower often. As hot and uncomfortable it is we always have fun. Hope you have a magical time!!
“He looks like an incontinent Marine…” Best line I’ve heard in a long time. This non-parent friend of yours suggests you pack lots of nips, so you have quick access when needed.
Not sure if anyone has commented on helping your little guy with air pressure changes hurting his ears. Since he can’t chew gum, you need a strategy. Good Luck, buddy.
My son was a very active 10 months when we went exactly a year ago. The only way to keep him calm on the plane was to wear him and stand at the back. It was worth the tired legs. Get him a fan for his stroller. That thing made all the difference for us, I think. Go back to the room mid-day to rest. And don’t worry about beheading Mickey 🙂 All the characters had great interactions with my son, but none of them tried to hold him, which I secretly loved because I got to geek out and hug the characters too. Also, I dreaded my son not sitting still on rides, but he was so entranced by his surroundings that he did great on all of them. And that kid wouldn’t sit still ever. Finally, OMG I’m so jealous of your vacation!!!!
Check out touringplans.com. They’ve got plans based on algorithms that direct you to the rides in an order with the shortest lines. They also have an app. Don’t be afraid to go back to the place you’re staying and rest. Don’t let FOMO lead to overtired parents 🙂
Don’t destroy a bag! You can totally bring food in. The bag check is super peremptory – I was there last month and brought two full-on sandwiches in – and the only restriction is no hard-sided coolers.
Make sure you use the weird online Fastpass system to reserve your fastpasses in advance – that will be three rides at least that you don’t have a line meltdown in.
I’d make a quick list of a few areas where you can go for easy air conditioning in different areas of the park. A few that come to mind in the Magic Kingdom are the hall of presidents or those silent Mickey movies on Main Street. There’s also an area to meet characters kind of in the back left of the new circus area in Fantasyland that’s inside and cooled. And the new Belle experience/show thing is a lot of time in air conditioning.