Brian and I are taking Nolan on a road trip to New Jersey this weekend. The last time I took Nolan on such an ambitious trip he was only 10 months old. He was at the peak of his sloth and at that time, his idea of fun was watching his toes dance to and fro from the confines of his car seat. That was a portable child.
Not so portable anymore.
Nolan is one and a half, and his body is in perpetual motion. I have no idea how we are going to contain him on a road trip that will look like this:
Nolan has promised me that he’s going to use the time in the car for “silent reflection” of his developmental milestones, his unhealthy attraction to cheese, and his goals for the next six months both physically and spiritually. I suspect that he’s going to use the car time to soil at least 4 diapers and to hone his pterodactyl-like shriek.
Things I will be packing for this trip:
- A taser gun (Not sure if I’ll need this for protection or to subdue Nolan or possibly Brian in a pinch)
- Pack N Play (aka bed and cage rolled into one convenient package)
- Beaver traps (to stop Nolan from running out of the rest stop bathrooms. If I position them at the proper angle between the doors and the hand dryers I think these should be effective)
- $700 in Dunkin Donuts gift cards (plus $75 in Starbucks gift cards because we will be in NJ and sometimes Dunks is elusive in NJ)
- 16 cartons of Goldfish crackers that Nolan will demolish and a few pouches of veggies that Nolan will ignore
- Coscto-sized carton of Tylenol
I’ll try to post an update from the road, time permitting. Sunday night they are announcing the 2015 Bloggies winners, and I’m very excited to see if we prevailed in the Best New Blog category! I appreciate that so many of you took the time to vote! If we win I will wake Nolan up immediately and let him bathe in champagne. I won’t let him drink it because that is totally irresponsible.
Wish us luck! (Both in Jersey and in the Bloggies. Mostly in Jersey, because gridlock with a toddler trumps anything that may or may not happen online).
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