This week I found myself (very belatedly) writing out thank you cards for Nolan’s first birthday. As I sat down with my Target stationery and started to write, it occurred to me that I had no idea whose perspective the card was supposed to be coming from. Was I supposed to write the card like a baby? Or as myself? The dilemmas of motherhood know no limit, really.
I think we can agree this is a weighty question. And as with all weighty questions, your best bet for answers is Facebook.
From Facebook I received a variety of responses on this controversial matter. Here are some of my favorites:
- “Everyone knows a baby can’t write.” (True fact)
- “Have a few glasses of wine and it will all work itself out.” (Already done)
- “Avoid monogrammed stationary from a child under five. I guess I shouldn’t say that, it could be cute, but I always think: does this child work on Wall Street?” (Nolan actually does moonlight on Wall Street, but this is still a good point)
Nolan caught wind of my question and was embarrassed that I had revealed our family to be so clueless. “Mom,” he said, “you’re making us look like losers.”
“Oh Nolan,” I said, “It’s ok, I make us look like losers all the time!“
In the end, Nolan insisted that he dictate the thank you notes to me, because, and I quote “You have impeccable penmanship, mom, and also I am lazy.” I had to agree on both counts. And with that, here are some examples of our joint effort:
Dear Uncle Matty,
Thank you for starting a 529 plan for me. Clearly my parents did not have their shit together to do this for me. I’m not even sure my mom knows what a 529 plan is. Luckily for me I have a Godfather who knows what’s what. You can be both my spiritual AND financial advisor.
Thank you for my birthday presents! My “More Bears” book is, I believe, a classic. I cannot read yet, but I often chew on it, and it tastes like a classic to me. I have a refined palate. Also, thank you for the Target Gift card! If I’m being honest I think my mom stole that from me.
Dear Linda & Greg,
Thank you for all of my awesome Elmo birthday presents! Elmo is one of my greatest idols, alongside Peppa Pig and Elvis. He radiates greatness, and now that greatness is radiating all over me.
What about the rest of you? How do you handle thank you notes from kids who can’t do them on their own? Do you put in thought and care, or do you just say screw it all and go this route: Can We Stop With The Goody Bags and Thank You Cards. Inquiring moms want to know.