How to Have an Unsuccessful Trip to the Grocery Store With Your Family in 10 Easy Steps

If you’re wondering how to have a super inefficient and frustrating trip to the grocery store with your family, here is what worked amazingly well for us today!

1. Park in direct sunlight because that is the only spot available, while your baby is asleep in the car seat.

2. Have your husband run into the store to grab the groceries while you wait in the car with your sleeping baby.

3. Have your baby wake up from a deep sleep because you decide that you should turn on the car, which makes a loud beeping noise, to slightly alter the amount that the windows are open (even though the car was already a comfortable temperature).

4. Look in the rearview mirror in dismay to find a red faced, screaming, sobbing toddler.

5. Get a call from your husband that even though he has been in the store for 30 minutes he has zero groceries because someone stole his cart while he wasn’t looking. Side note: shopping at Market Basket is basically participating in the suburban version of The Hunger Games.

6. Wait 30 additional minutes while your husband re-shops for the stolen groceries.

7. Reunite with your husband while your baby continues to scream.

8. Learn from your husband that it turns out his cart wasn’t stolen, but that he actually stole someone else’s cart by accident.

9. Return home with *some* groceries, but not the ones you really need for tomorrow’s Easter fruit salad because Market Basket was out of strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc.

10. Ditch your husband and toddler and head back out to another grocery store that sells fruit.

I hope round #2 goes better.