We’re over at BLUNTMoms today discussing the very BEST methods for making critical decisions regarding your child.
So, you have a baby. Congratulations! You’re a parent now. No more time for fooling around like a jackass on Twitter. You now need to devote 100% of your time to fooling around like a jackass on Facebook. That’s where the parents are.
You may be a little overwhelmed by the enormity of your new task. There are *literally one million decisions you will be required to make as a parent, all in the first year. And you may be asking yourself, how is one supposed to go about making important decisions for their child? Is there a process? A protocol? A strategy?
I’m so glad you asked. There IS a highly reliable method for always making the correct decisions when it comes to your child, and I’m going to share that method with you today. Get out a pen. You’ll want to take notes.
First, call your own mother (or sister/best friend/mother-in-law if you’re being really exotic). It’s only polite. Ask for advice on any number of parenting decisions (breastfeeding, vaccines, dairy, car safety, etc.) Listen half-assedly to the advice your loved one is giving while simultaneously scrolling through the Google search you’ve punched into your iPhone on the same topic. Promptly dismiss every shred of advice your mother is giving you because what does she know about parenting? It’s not like she raised a child.
In any event, it’s critical to remember that, when it comes to parenting advice, under no circumstance do you want to listen to the people you trust and love most in the world.
No, your very best resources are the randoms you meet on Facebook, or parenting forums such as The Bump and What to Expect. These people have “done the research” so they are well equipped to guide you. These online communities are intellectual centers, much like Cambridge, where great thinkers from Harvard and MIT go for coffee and falafel. Only they are better because forum users may or may not have degrees in anything related to what you are asking about. It’s the ideal venue for discourse.