Asleep in the car seat which is in our bathroom. We need help.
This morning was stressful. Actually, so was last night, and the past few days. September, really.
Nolan has been fussy (I’ve been saying he’s teething but really who the hell knows) and I can feel cold weather coming and the combination of the two is causing a small but perceptible rise in anxiety in some subconscious part of me. Except I suppose it’s not subconscious because I’m thinking about it right now, aren’t I. So if I look at the science here it’s very clear that my brain has registered this anxiety as well. I’ll try not to bring fancy science into the blog too often, but sometimes it’s just necessary.
Anyway the thought of being housebound for months with a possibly teething and probably fussing baby is making me a little nervous. I won’t be able to do my long and scenic foliage peeping walks come winter, and I’m not a good mall walker because I get too distracted by the food court.
I think I’m the problem.
Many months ago, when I was a fresher, newer model of new mom, I went gangbusters for sleep training. I know it’s controversial, but I was desperate and I got into bed with Ferber who got into bed with Nolan (not literally) and within days we were on a resounding path of victory and improved sleep. Not like record-breakingly good sleep, but much improved for sure. And when you’re as tired as I was you take what you can get. You can read about the whole exciting process here: Sleep Training, What in the Hell Were We Waiting For?
In that post I urged people to “think of the Soviets if you have trouble being stern.” It was good advice, and I fear that I’ve recently forgotten Mother Russia in my parenting efforts. I need her back. What I’m saying is I need to fit Mother Russia, the Sleep Sheep and Ferber into one giant family bed. Nolan will be separated, in his own crib, because everyone knows that you can’t fit that many people safely in a co-sleeping situation, especially not someone the size of Mother Russia. I’m not sure how big Ferber is and it would be impolite to ask. And I think we can all agree that sheep should stay out of the bedroom.
I feel like I’m losing the plot here.
Oh yes, I think the problem is my lack of setting up a clear schedule for Nolan. We’ve been kind of going with the flow so far, and it’s been working in large part because Nolan displays the tendencies of a baby narcoleptic. I tend to be an “out and about” kind of mom, and so the setup has suited us both. But Nolan’s increasing size is starting to cause an issue. He’s maxing out his car seat (we’re milking the KeyFit 30 for all it’s worth right now) which means that soon if he falls asleep in the car I’ll have to wake him up to move him into the house or a stroller. I think our days of on -the- fly napping are numbered.
Examples of sleeping locations that are not helping our cause
The Baby Barcalounger
Mom’s lap
Grandma’s arms
The Ergo Backpack
Another problem (and this should be obvious, but it was an “Aha!” moment for me) is that if Nolan sleeps while we’re out, it means that when we’re home he’s pretty much always awake! Go figure. This means that I have no time to get anything done, since Nolan has recently taken to army crawling to wherever it is that I am and grabbing onto my ankles in a desperate bid to get me to pick him up. He is an exercise avoider, which I think many of us can relate to.
We need a game plan before winter. I have Nolan down for a nap in his crib right now, as we speak, based on the new schedule that I put us both on as of yesterday.
Here it is:
5:30 Wake-Up
6:30 Breakfast
8:30 Nap
12:00 Lunch
3:00 Nap
6:30 Dinner
7:30 Bedtime
This is the most organized I have ever been. Now who the hell knows if this will work. And you might notice many gaps in the schedule, which I am maintaining as Nolan and I need plenty of time to stare at each other and make weird little noises and to knock over blocks.
We will not be defeated! WE WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! And no matter how cute that little ankle biter is, the next time he pleads with me to retrieve him from the crib after a mere 10 minute catnap, I’ll have one thing and one thing only to say to him:
There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Mama Ruskie.
Appropriate place for sleep: the crib. Yes you are creepily awake right now, but soon you will be sleeping. Count on it.
p.s. Do any of you have babies around 1 year old on a great schedule?? Suggestions are welcome, we could use a little help!
Thank you for the hump-day laughs… the pics of Nolan sleeping in random spots are awesome. I realize you asked to hear from people who have 1 year olds on a good schedule, which we do not (daycare on the other hand has her whipped into shape during the week), but on the weekends we’ve continued to do the “on-the-go, she’ll-sleep-if-she’s-tired, mommy-and-daddy-have-shit-to-do” attitude and it has worked out alright. When we moved to the big-girl carseat, we too were worried about waking her up but she surprisingly stays sleeping during the carseat-to-stroller transition pretty often and we leave her sleeping in her stroller in the hallway because… you know… sleeping babies and whatnot. We can rarely get her to nap in her crib at home (I don’t know how daycare does it) so I’m curious if your tactics work on Nolan!
I am curious if my tactics will work too! Day Care works some sort of magic, who knows. It’s unbelievable really, considering how many kids they watch! My new tactic involves crib and crib alone, along with white noise, shades drawn, etc. Just like at night. Before I was half-assing it. I will report back. Early indicators are promising – the last two naps lasted for 2 hours, and ten for 1 hour. Good start!
I’m more than happy to give you a free mini-consult on sleep! You’ll want to hold on to that 2 nap schedule for the next couple months. I’m more so available to give guidance rather than shove sleep info down your throat. Let me know!
That’s awesome Susie, I will email you!
Our youngest is almost 16 months. During the week we have a pretty regimented routine for all of the kids. For our 16 month old this includes one nap that starts around 10:45 and lasts about two hours. Later naps or two naps ends in disaster come bedtime (a pretty strict 7:15.) Weekends on the other hand also seem to result in “mommy-and-daddy-have-shit-to-do” and our strict schedule goes out the window.
have a 15 mo old, also on the “lazy” side, didn’t crawl until after 11 mo, and still not walking.
However right around a year, started dropping to 1 nap. 2 naps maybe causing your issues. looking at your schedule i would move bed time/dinner up, and push first nap later, then skip second nap.
Just thinking out loud here, i have a whooping 2 months more experience as a mom than you do, so you know, ha!
I realize i may be the only guy to comment here but me and my wife have been working on a schedule with our 11 month old since about 3 months. Janelle is a great sleeper but we have been consistent with her schedule . She wakes up around 7:30, breakfast around 9, bottle and nap around 11, usually an hour or 2 then play time and getting stuff done, then nap around 4 sometimes for only half hour but usually about an hour, dinner around 6, bed time around 8. It has worked for us and if you keep up with it they will just know whats coming.
The way I set up my day for our 9 month old (who has a cold and has two teeth breaking through) is that I plan my day so she will get at least one of her naps at home in the crib. I call it her “good nap,” and hope she sleeps for 2ish hours. The other nap, well, if it’s at home in the crib, great, but mama’s got shit to do, so often it’s in the stroller or the car…and SOMETIMES I get the magical 3 nap day, when she has a few mini naps. Setting baby up for at least one good nap has really helped with my sanity, even if it just means I can do the dishes or shower in relative peace (the dog is still annoying but I can bribe her with peanut butter!).
Oooo good tip on the peanut butter. Maybe that will stop Mustard from barking – his mouth will be glued together! Though I do have to give the kid credit – he sleeps right through the barking that alerts us to the dangerous passer-bys. After all, you never know when a pedestrian walking on the sidewalk will suddenly lunge for your house, break in, and steal all of the food. Thanks, Mustard, for keeping our sustenance save.
We have an 11 month old too. Around 7 months went to 2 naps per day. Honestly I just basically stayed home completely for about 2 weeks. Then I started a routine for each nap time which we have gotten better with over time. I also would put him back to sleep if he woke up before the one hour mark. Even if it meant rocking him for the rest of nap. Now I turn off lights, give him binky, drape blanket over shoulders and walk/bounce him around nursery a few minutes. Sometimes he is out sometimes not but he will nap up to 1 hr in morning and just recently increased afternoon to close to 2 hours.
We are on similar schedule to you – up around 5-6 and naps at 7:30 and 12:30. Then bedtime at 6:30. Honestly we tried lots of different things with advice from friends and finally just clicked!
So just keep trying but you may have to stay home some more (at least for a while) which I don’t like either! Now usually he can do morning nap in car but we try to be home for afternoon which works for us since we are morning people.
Paige, I’m considering the idea of putting myself on lockdown for a few weeks to get this sorted out. That will be very hard for me but I think it may be worth it. It’s so hard to be productive if Nolan is never napping while we’re home!
Apparently babies like schedules, so if you start and maintain them, things are good. My husband actually stays home with Max, and claims to not have him on a schedule but in reality does. Regardless, he’s only 8 months so LIGHTYEARS (lightmonths?) younger than Nolan, so his schedule is probably not relevant to you. However, we are very consistent about what we do prior to the nap, which I think helps. Change his diap (if needed), put him in a sleep sack, lay him in the crib, pop in the paci, lay the lovey down, and say “have a good nap!” Make sure the fan / heater is on, black out shades at least partially down, and we leave the room. I think that helps a lot. Sometimes he rolls around in there babbling a little before sleeping.
Also – try this blog for tips. LOTS of info, and they do consults! http://childsleepscience.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/nap-101-post-1-does-my-baby-have-a-nap-problem/
I totally relate, because being housebound doesn’t get your house cleaner. It just means you get cabin fever and surf the web or binge watch Netflix. We’re also on-the-go nappers, but if possible, I try to get at least 1 of the 2 naps in the crib. And if she’s not “tired” I leave her in there for “quiet time” for an hour. However, if she’s screaming bloody murder (FOMO), the whole plan is out the window and I try like hell not to miss the cues for the next one.
I also bring my kindle or a book in the car with me. Because, if I must sit in the driveway, (for fear of waking in transition), at least I can read something non-baby related or close my eyes.
I second the Baby Sleep Science folks – they are AMAZING! Start with the blog and then set up a consult as needed. Oh, and follow them on facebook so all the new blog posts are sent directly to you….
I totally relate, because being housebound doesn’t get your house cleaner. It just means you get cabin fever and surf the web or binge watch Netflix. We’re also on-the-go nappers, but if possible, I try to get at least 1 of the 2 naps in the crib. And if she’s not “tired” I leave her in there for “quiet time” for an hour. However, if she’s screaming bloody murder (FOMO), the whole plan is out the window and I try like hell not to miss the cues for the next one.
I also bring my kindle or a book in the car with me. Because, if I must sit in the driveway, (for fear of waking in transition), at least I can read something non-baby related or close my eyes.
Haha, I love that your baby has FOMO. It starts early, that’s for sure. I mean nobody wants to miss a Netflix marathon.
I have 2 boys – 27 & 5 months. My older one wasn’t a great napper until he was about 18mo old, but I did keep him on a pretty regular schedule. Right now, my 5mo goes down for a nap btwn 9:30 & 10:30 and the both of them go down again btwn 1 & 2.
My biggest advice: stick to it. My oldest gave up one of his naps around a year old. I ditched the morning nap and stuck with the afternoon one. There were- and still are – some days he cries and refuses, but after leaving him alone for 10min, he’s usually asleep. Besides, you know the difference between a “i’m crying because i dont want to take a nap” and “i’m crying because something is actually really wrong”.
To those who say their kids don’t nap during the day and they have a hard time going to bed at night, they’re related. If my 2yo has a good nap, he goes to bed a lot easier at night. If he skips nap, all hell breaks loose at bed time.
Hey Katie – thanks for the advice! Nolan is always super easy to put down at night, and generally sleeps decently at night. The problem is that lately he is crankier during the day, and he seems tired. I am hoping that getting him on a better nap schedule will help with that, and will also allow me to get stuff done during the day! It’s near impossible now.