This morning was stressful. Actually, so was last night, and the past few days. September, really.
Nolan has been fussy (I’ve been saying he’s teething but really who the hell knows) and I can feel cold weather coming and the combination of the two is causing a small but perceptible rise in anxiety in some subconscious part of me. Except I suppose it’s not subconscious because I’m thinking about it right now, aren’t I. So if I look at the science here it’s very clear that my brain has registered this anxiety as well. I’ll try not to bring fancy science into the blog too often, but sometimes it’s just necessary.
Anyway the thought of being housebound for months with a possibly teething and probably fussing baby is making me a little nervous. I won’t be able to do my long and scenic foliage peeping walks come winter, and I’m not a good mall walker because I get too distracted by the food court.
I think I’m the problem.
Many months ago, when I was a fresher, newer model of new mom, I went gangbusters for sleep training. I know it’s controversial, but I was desperate and I got into bed with Ferber who got into bed with Nolan (not literally) and within days we were on a resounding path of victory and improved sleep. Not like record-breakingly good sleep, but much improved for sure. And when you’re as tired as I was you take what you can get. You can read about the whole exciting process here: Sleep Training, What in the Hell Were We Waiting For?
In that post I urged people to “think of the Soviets if you have trouble being stern.” It was good advice, and I fear that I’ve recently forgotten Mother Russia in my parenting efforts. I need her back. What I’m saying is I need to fit Mother Russia, the Sleep Sheep and Ferber into one giant family bed. Nolan will be separated, in his own crib, because everyone knows that you can’t fit that many people safely in a co-sleeping situation, especially not someone the size of Mother Russia. I’m not sure how big Ferber is and it would be impolite to ask. And I think we can all agree that sheep should stay out of the bedroom.
I feel like I’m losing the plot here.
Oh yes, I think the problem is my lack of setting up a clear schedule for Nolan. We’ve been kind of going with the flow so far, and it’s been working in large part because Nolan displays the tendencies of a baby narcoleptic. I tend to be an “out and about” kind of mom, and so the setup has suited us both. But Nolan’s increasing size is starting to cause an issue. He’s maxing out his car seat (we’re milking the KeyFit 30 for all it’s worth right now) which means that soon if he falls asleep in the car I’ll have to wake him up to move him into the house or a stroller. I think our days of on -the- fly napping are numbered.
Examples of sleeping locations that are not helping our cause
Another problem (and this should be obvious, but it was an “Aha!” moment for me) is that if Nolan sleeps while we’re out, it means that when we’re home he’s pretty much always awake! Go figure. This means that I have no time to get anything done, since Nolan has recently taken to army crawling to wherever it is that I am and grabbing onto my ankles in a desperate bid to get me to pick him up. He is an exercise avoider, which I think many of us can relate to.
We need a game plan before winter. I have Nolan down for a nap in his crib right now, as we speak, based on the new schedule that I put us both on as of yesterday.
Here it is:
5:30 Wake-Up
6:30 Breakfast
8:30 Nap
12:00 Lunch
3:00 Nap
6:30 Dinner
7:30 Bedtime
This is the most organized I have ever been. Now who the hell knows if this will work. And you might notice many gaps in the schedule, which I am maintaining as Nolan and I need plenty of time to stare at each other and make weird little noises and to knock over blocks.
We will not be defeated! WE WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! And no matter how cute that little ankle biter is, the next time he pleads with me to retrieve him from the crib after a mere 10 minute catnap, I’ll have one thing and one thing only to say to him:
There’s a new sheriff in town, and her name is Mama Ruskie.
p.s. Do any of you have babies around 1 year old on a great schedule?? Suggestions are welcome, we could use a little help!
Trista
My son just turned a year and when he’s with me (on the weekends) he sleeps great. When he’s with dad on his day off and with his Nana during the week, naps are touch and go. With me he wakes up between 7 and 7:30, plays, eats breakfast at about 8 or 8:30, naps starting between 9:30 and 10 until 12 or 1, eats lunch, plays, naps again at about 3, dinner at 6:30ish, bath at 7, and then he plays until he starts stumbling around all baby drunk, between 7:30 and 8. Words cannot express how much I love his 2-3 hour morning nap!
Liz
Trista, that 2-3 hour morning nap is what I’m shooting for! Yesterday (day 1 of the plan) he pulled off a 2 hour nap and I was beyond thrilled. At the moment I’m watching him in the monitor thrash around, trying to get in his second nap. This will be a process…
Katie
Let’s talk tomorrow. One thing to try, if you don’t already have…machines!! We love our Summer Infant Slumber Buddy butterfly. I also have a little aquarium that you can have that hangs off the side of the crib. Let me know and I’ll pack it tomorrow.
Liz
I’ll try that Katie, thanks!!
Robin
I have a 13 month old on a great schedule. 6-630 wake up, 8:30-9 nap #1 usually 1-1.5 hours. Lunch around 1130-12. 2-3 nap #2 ( depending on the day this can be as early as 130 and as late as 330, if it happens at 4 or later I have to wake her so she doesn’t nap too long and have issues going down at night, this nap is much more flexible than nap #1 which allows for flexibility in getting out and getting stuff done). Dinner around 530/6 then bed 7/730. Sometimes she drops as early as 645. Part of the secret besides a good schedule is to wear them out in the day! Hard when they are less mobile, but our mall has an indoor playground and after 30-45 minutes today she took a 2 hour nap!
Jess
I have two little ones (ages 2.5 years and 7 months) and we’ve always been horrible at maintaining a schedule. The little one naps on the fly, but thankfully she’s one of those mythical babies that slept through the night really early on… I think the universe gave us a break because we’re still getting up at night with our oldest. So in summary, I have ZERO advice on the sleep thing. But I do love reading your blog, so I figured I’d let you know by leaving a pointless comment 🙂
Liz
Ha! I welcome pointless comments left to inform me that someone likes my blog. What’s not to like about that!?
Gretchen
I have a 15 month old, one of the world’s worst sleepers (I have heard of worse…) but I know it is largely my fault. At this point we are cosleeping because it is easier than getting her in and out of her bassinet (or God forbid, another room!) 5 times a night. Lately she wants to nurse all night…as in, NO I DON’T WANT THE G-D PACIFIER, GIVE ME YOUR NIPPLE OR ELSE!” Then she passes out before she even gets any milk. I am just too lazy to sleep train. And there may be a little tiny bit of me that likes cuddling.
Liz
Gretchen, I like your candor 🙂 The laziness is a real stumbling block! I hear you.