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In an ideal world, all of our children would love to go to school, love to learn, love to work on their reading comprehension and writing skills, and be effortlessly talented with numbers. As a parent, it’s natural to wonder how to get your child interested in school. In reality, kids sometimes dislike studying. And there…
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This weekend it struck me: My daughter, who is just a year old, will never know a world where there hasn’t been a woman in the White House. And until the age of 41, I’ve never known a world where there has. My kids will never live in a country where there hasn’t been a…
I’m tired of all the noise on the internet.
It’s exhausting.
I’m tired of clickbait. I’m tired of “controversial” posts and headlines that start with “Unpopular Opinion!” as if that’s a selling point, and I’m tired of “Open Letters” where people complain about the person who offended them at the grocery store. Why not just say something to the lady in the grocery store?
I’m tired of all the noise on the internet.
We spend a lot of time here. Why do we insist on making it so unpleasant so often? Why are so many people out looking for a fight?
We have real battles to fight. I know I do. I’m sure you do too. Like me, maybe you have a parent with cancer. Or maybe you have a spouse who just lost their job, or trouble paying the mortgage or a child with a disability. No matter who you are, I bet you have something real to deal with.
You know what’s not real? Fighting with people on Facebook about breastfeeding and helicopter parenting and why it’s awful for your kids if you stay at home with them or work outside of the home or whatever.
We can’t all possibly have an opinion on EVERYTHING. Why not reserve the voicing of our opinions for those things that we actually have a real opinion on? Not an “opinion” that we just made up on the spot and decided to throw into the ring because 8,000 other people on the internet had one.
NO NO NO. Enough!
It’s a waste of our collective time, and it’s a waste of our collective energy. We have real battles to fight. There are real injustices and real social issues to be passionate about. There are real children at home who depend on us, and who are learning how to be good people from us.
To everyone who comments on articles: real people – many of them moms and dads just like you – write these articles. And they read the comments. What seems like one giant anonymous space is not anonymous at all. Whoever wrote the article that is getting bashed will most likely see the comment that you leave on Facebook. Comments saying that the author is a terrible mother and that she should lose her kids over her opinion and on and on and on. It’s easy to forget that that is a real mother – and most often not a terrible one – who is probably doing the best she can, just like you are. Maybe the tone didn’t come across as intended. Maybe you disagree on the issue. It is still a real person who has feelings, just like you do.
To my fellow bloggers: Let’s set a nice tone. Let’s share articles that say something substantive or that are really funny without being mean. We can continue to write satire and we can continue to have thoughts on topics that we care about. Of course. But let’s write things that touch people in a way that can add to their lives, or let’s engage in a discourse on a social issue that we really care about instead of writing knee-jerk reactions to every trending story on our newsfeed, whether or not we actually have something valuable to add to the conversation.
And let’s knock it off with sharing articles that are the equivalent of throwing a grenade into a room full of people just to see what kind of havoc can be wrought up for “engagement.”
Let’s stop being intentionally polarizing.
Why should we do this? Simple. Because people are reading what we write. Because we have a platform. Because we can add to a positive culture or we can choose to manufacture crisis after crisis with our opinion posts. Because we can stir up discontent for the sake of page views, or we can choose to do something either more positive or more constructive in this space that we inhabit.
And because we all have real battles to fight.
Amen. Beautifully written!
Thank you! I appreciate it.
Well said.
As you rightly said we are all fighting something.
We teach our children not to fight with each other just for the sake of fighting.
Yet as you say bloggers are writing posts just to cause a reaction.
There are many wonderful bloggers who write witty, charming, heartfelt, sad, joyous etc posts. Let’s write from the heart.
True story and I agree 100%! If everyone is as mean in real life as they are on the internet, then the world is a very, very sad place. I keep saying that somehow, human beings keep becoming more sensitive to every tiny ridiculous thing that exists, even when it has no affect on their life. Yet, at the same time, humans are becoming meaner and more senseless. How is that even possible?!?
Kerry, I totally agree. I do wonder about the disconnect between the way people behave in real life vs. on the internet. In day to day life I don’t find people to be anywhere near as nasty. But online it’s terrible. Which makes me wonder which one is more “real” in terms of how people actually are, you now?
You have nailed exactly what I’ve found discouraging lately. This is why I’ve moved away from Lifestyle blogging to a more DIY style, because I had just had enough. I’m sure I’ll still find the old judgement and finger pointing, but hopefully less.
I understand your inclination to switch gears. I sometimes wonder if blogging long-term will be feasible, because it can be hard to always be inundated with a lot of the nonsense that takes place online.
THANK YOU! I am not on facebook (you can come visit me under my rock anytime!) because it just seems like hard work and lots of drama without enough positive return for me. I get so frustrated by sensational blog/ media headlines about some trivial issue- and not to mention the argument that then ensues. We do have real issues and they are often hard to deal with,we certainly don’t need to invent more! Kerry said it beautifully- how are we simultaneously more sensitive about our feelings and opinions and more insensitive about others (are we all stuck in the toddler phase?)! Love your writing because it’s honest and hilarious without being mean- keep it up!
Thanks Sarah! And I agree that the last thing we need is to take trivial issues and turn them into fistfights online. Why are we doing that???? My goal with this blog is to keep it funny without resorting to being mean. I think sometimes people think to be funny you have to be mean, but you really don’t. Just look at The Ellen Show! Great example of something really funny, and not at all nasty.
Yes, yes, a million times YES!! This is one of the BEST things I’ve read in a long time. No shock it’s from you. Oh, you inspire me my friend.
Aw, thanks Mike! That means a lot coming from you.
Yes!! Love this 🙂 The first time I saw negative comments about an article of mine shared on another FB page I was really surprised. People (there were more than one) were ANGRY that my family eats salmon once a week. I had mentioned that it’s our favorite meal and it’s healthy. Somehow that translated to my parents not loving me enough and me hating people on welfare. Definitely an eye-opening and skin-thickening experience!
Stacey, it’s so strange what people take away from posts sometimes. I have had things I’ve written COMPLETELY misinterpreted to the point where I had no idea what they were even talking about. It can be tough to know that someone is not understanding the intention of what you’re writing, and taking something negative from it that was never there in the first place.
Right on, Liz! I find it hard to believe that all these negative comments would actually be uttered aloud face-to-face. This seems to be a cowardly way to express some misdirected anger. I still agree with mom’s advice: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I think we all want to raise compassionate kids, and that starts with us!
Preach on sister! Boom. Thank you.
I agree with you 100%. I’m an education blogger and it’s just unreal how nasty people can be about public education. So many people – often people without children in the system – have absolutely no clue about what’s really going on; they just resort to bashing teachers and administrators without doing a fact check. Unfortunately, so many fellow teachers have resorted to the same nasty warfare as an extreme defense mechanism. It makes me sick. I like to promote positivity! People love to complain about the news/media being all negative these days, but then they only share the negative stuff online. That’s not helping a thing! It just perpetuates the problem. Why can’t we just allow people to be happy and spread positivity instead?
Exactly. I used to share some of the negative posts as well, curious what other people had to say about them. But now I realize that that just perpetuates the problem and gets everyone all riled up, which is the opposite of what we need! (p.s. Teachers have a tough job).
Awesome!!!!! I’ve been wondering how to succeed as a blogger if I don’t do “fluff” pieces. I don’t want to because it’s a waste of time and energy. My site is very barely monetized and the only clicks I’m out for are to be heard and possibly understood, or to learn. I want something REAL. I’m also tired of seeing the same recipes with a different story. It’s gotten to the point where if I see a picture of food, I keep right on moving.
Thank you for writing this!! I now have more confidence to continue to not fit in 😉
Jill, I hear you! I think it’s a misconception that to have something be big or “go viral” it needs to be controversial or negative or fluff or whatever. I’ve had a few posts go viral, and none of them fit into any of those categories. People respond to things that are heartfelt and well written, and even if that makes it harder to get page views sometimes, who cares? At the end of the day that’s not really what is the most important thing.