It’s Our 3rd Wedding Anniversary, And WOW Are We Hot!

Today Brian and I celebrate our third wedding anniversary.

I woke up to the sounds of Brian’s voice yelling my name outside our window. My first thought was romance. He’s re-creating the scene from Say Anything but with a recycling bin instead of a boom box! I can’t believe how romantic he is! Thank goodness that we’ve stayed so ridiculously hot and haven’t let parenting drag down our attractiveness levels, because this right here is when it pays off.

(It turns out he wasn’t recreating that scene, he just locked himself out while taking out the trash and doesn’t know where we keep our Hide-A-Key. Kudos to me for not making it too obvious).

According to my sources on the internet, the traditional anniversary gift at the three-year mark is leather. Well ok then. Last year was cotton balls, and Q-Tips package up nicely, so that was a winner for all parties involved. Leather is tougher, but I’m thinking that later this morning I’ll head to a tannery and see what I can come up with.

Our wedding day was hands down the best day of my life. I know I’m supposed to say that the day Nolan was born was the best day of my life, but lets take a moment and think that over. On my wedding day I was at my attractiveness peak, and I got to spend an entire night dancing and drinking and eating lobster. On the day of Nolan’s birth I was a water retaining mini-bus with sciatica and carpal tunnel syndrome. My spinal block failed partway through my c-section and all I can remember of the birth miracle itself was being tied to a hospital bed, trying to free myself from a surgery that I could feel happening. I was attached to a catheter and I was wearing adult diapers (Please refer to Baby, There Ain’t No Easy Way Out for graphic detail).

I think the wedding comes out on top here.

In any event, at our rehearsal dinner, Brian and I showed a slideshow – a panorama, if you will, of our lives to date. It was “mesmerizing” and “epically beautiful” according to audiences everywhere. (Feel free to knock yourselves out and watch the whole video, but if you just want to see how hairy Brian and I were as babies to be used as a comparison to the wolf-child we produced, that part comes right near the beginning).

I want to include now a few images from our photographer Earl Christie. He is fantastic! I’d recommend you hire him, even if that means that you need to get a divorce so that you can then have a second wedding to someone else and ask Earl to shoot it for you. He’s worth the trouble of the divorce proceedings.

The advantage of having life sized cardboard cutouts of yourselves at the wedding is that you don’t need to take breaks from dancing to pose for pictures!

This is my dad being “resurrected” during the song “Shout!” He does this at every wedding, banking on the fact that our relatives will be in position to pull him up off the floor. He likes to gamble like that.

My dad goes low, but I prefer to go high for my signature move, “The Lift.” My friend Manuel and I have been performing this move for years (not professionally, only recreationally). I think you can see from the faces in the crowd that people are quite impressed.

I’m really feeling it here.

I know I said I was at my attractiveness peak at my wedding, but I should have clarified that that only applied to the ceremony. Once we got to dancing I got very, very wet, partly from sweat and partly because I was dumping water bottles over my head to cool down. My friend Amie served as a one-woman “pit crew” tasked with drying me off every so often. I think you can see that Brian is impressed.

I can’t recall for sure, but if I was a betting woman I’d say we’re listening to some Bon Jovi here.

I said it last year and I’ll say it again: I married the right guy.

Happy Leather Anniversary Brian!