Kate Middleton, I’ve always liked you.
I mean this – you seem like a regular kind of girl. Like someone I would want to get a beer with. Like someone who would prefer to be wearing sweatpants on the day you eject a human being from your womb, rather than a white and yellow number by Jenny Packham.
(That dress is lovely, by the way).
From one regular girl to another, I just have to say it: How the #$#*%# are you wearing that outfit right now?! Were they doing your makeup during contractions, or did they wait until someone cut the cord? Did you give birth at a salon?
What? How? When?
Every mother knows that for days (DAYS!) after you give birth every trip to the bathroom is a walk limp through a bloody battlefield. Literally. I was constipated, bloated, and tethered to a catheter for a week after delivering, and you just stepped out of a resort, it appears.
I mean, you look fantastic (better than I looked on my wedding day if I’m being honest). But Kate, we all know that nobody in their right mind should have to get done up like that hours after a newborn barreled out the southern exit. It’s just not humane. Forget the royal crown, I’m pretty sure you’re still having flashbacks from the royal crowning.
You deserve a few days off.
Now go take off that WHITE DRESS (seriously, stylists – a WHITE DRESS on the day she GIVES BIRTH? Is that even a joke??) and sit on a bag of ice. Enjoy some granny panties. Don’t even worry about your makeup, because you are lovely and I think you can pull off the natural look for 48 hours without the Royal Palace crumbling.
I can’t imagine that these mesh numbers would sit very well under a form-fitting Jenny Packham dress.
General Public: Give Kate a break! Let her snuggle her baby girl. She’s just evicted a human from the B&B of her womb, remember? She’s earned a day off.
(Congratulations Kate and William!)
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Brenda
Twelve hours after my second son was born, I was dressed up, wearing red lipstick and being discharged from the hospital. The ladies taking his picture told me not to leave my room because the other moms would beat me. lol A few days later after I was off my “baby high,” I was in sweat pants and exhausted!
Liz
Haha well that is a few days better than me! I didn’t manage to get my act together even briefly 🙂
Christine K.
According to my mom those things are actually comfortable to wear and you don’t have any panty lines. There’s no front and no back to them so you don’t have to worry about how you put them on. After her hip surgery this past February she’s been wearing them like they’re regular normal non hospital undies. They’re more like boy shorts without being down on the hips. So yes they’d work under a dress like that. So if she has them on bravo to Kate for rocking the hospital undies.
Liz
Christine I rocked those undies for quite some time myself. I loved them! Mesh magic, I like to say (ok I’ve never actually said that before, I just thought of it now). Either way, I’d like to imagine that Kate is enjoying some Mesh Magic under that dress….
Lisa
Just to provide another perspective, though all you’ve written in likely true in some way…perhaps Kate is like some women (myself included) who has super easy labours/deliveries and recovers really quickly. Baby Charlotte was like a 2.5 hour labour, right? My last labour was only 1.5 hours. It was super easy, basically pain free. I went into labour about 6am and by 7:30am I was sipping coffee and eating toast for breakfast while I craddled by newborn. I was neither exhausted nor sleep-deprived.
So based on my personal experience, I can see how gorgeous Kate, with the help of her stylists, could pull off the effortless-looking debut only a few hours after birth. I think Kate wanted to just go home and relax and to make short debut and smile for the cameras was her only way out of that hospital!
Liz
Wow that sounds amazing!! I was a disaster, but I know not everyone is. Just another reason I’ll probably never be royalty:)
Barbi Wilkerson
i’ll admit i had a c-section and i was up that night going to the bathroom my self and they even released me from the hospital a day early cause i was doing so well. some births are easier and normally the first is the hardest.
Anna
Ok, I read another article helping us Anericans who would critic her if she looked like a frump…the English persons take on her wears was this:
She did not have a epidural. Which means faster recovery. English woman normally do not have I.V fluids hence less bloating. It’s her second. Babies come very quickly-sometimes! She was criticized for her last dress choice because it looked like she had just given birth and was not ” up to date” and now people are criticizing this one.
The hair, well the English reporter just said she wanted to look nice. Most of us do not have press waiting for us outside the delivery door-so a woman gotta do what is has to go to do!
I say we are ALL to obsessed either way. Let it go! She also did not have an episiotomy. Hence, no waddling. She is not alone in recovering quickly and she is not like you or me. So let’s just stop pretending that the royals are and maybe we can just live our own lives without worrying about how she recovers, why her hair looks pretty and whether or not she was wearing granny panties!!! A young public figure can not just waltz out of recovery in sweats! Come on!! Cheers!!!!!
Liz
Haha Anna, I agree with you! It was just funny to imagine what she might be thinking having to be so dressed up. I completely agree that Kate couldn’t really just waltz out in sweats 🙂 She looked great. I like Kate. It’s just some silly humor!
DeAnn
First thing I thought was “wow light colored dress. Blood, wow.” Couldn’t believe it.
Ashley
I did get up and walk around right after delivery, not saying I didn’t leave a trail wherever I walked! Im so amazed that she’s up, beautified to the nines(so jealous) and is wearing a partially white dress! I wore mesh undies for days..but then again, I was cut from top to bottom! She is FIERCE! Great article! I loved it!
Liz
She is a total badass. That’s why she gets to be royalty 🙂
Rebecca
I loved this and I love Kate! I’ve had 5 babies, so I know that pulling this off, even after the smoothest of deliveries, is quite amazing! I’ve been thinking about it all week! Thank you for your humor. Mesh underpants are our friend!
Liz
They sure are our friend Rebecca. They sure are.
Robin
From what I’ve read about Kate, she’s really athletic and takes things in stride. After each of my 3 deliveries, I was up the next day, showered, and looking good – I can’t say feeling good, but yeah…looking good!! However, I was ecstatic after my sons were born, so pain aside, I felt great!