You guys you are NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. But you have to believe it because it’s straight from Science:
This just in:
“Four months isn’t enough time for new moms to recover from the exhaustion of having a kid, a new study published in PLOSone reports.
New parents know the feeling: a shell-shocked, sleep-deprived, zombie-like state that manifests itself after too many nights of interrupted REM cycles.
Months into a new parenting adventure, even after an infant is beginning to sleep more regularly, data shows moms are often still sleep-deprived.”
That’s right folks. A study has shown that new mothers are dangerously tired for months.
I know you all thought you’d only be tired for a few days postpartum. A week, tops.
I don’t know about you, but I was under the impression that new moms were well rested and just liked to pose as cracked out insomniacs.
I thought most new mothers celebrated the “haggard” look.
I know I do!
Of course I see all the new moms lined up at Starbucks, 2, 3, 4 times a day. But is it for the caffeine? Doubtful!
At least 9 out of 10 moms are there to buy the CDs they sell at the counter.
That is a fact.
All this time I’ve been telling women, “Hey, if you want to feel like a million bucks but can’t afford a resort, you should just have a baby and, you know, kick your feet up!”
What am I supposed to do now, take it back?
Parents everywhere know that the first year of a child’s life is a peaceful time in any family.
It is a year that leaves you feeling not only NOT TIRED, but actually refreshed!
Babies sleep quietly and uninterruptedly 104% of the time. (Time is measured differently for babies you guys. Again, it’s science).
Moms the world over use the immediate postpartum period for some much needed R&R.
And now this study comes along and tries to pull a fast one on us, ladies.
Well I’m not buying it. I’ve never felt (or looked!) better. I have my own scientific evidence for your consideration.
This is me before I got pregnant:
This is how I looked right before giving birth:
And this is how I looked 6 months postpartum:
I rest my case.
You can clearly see I’m getting better as we go along here.
My eyes seem to be saying, “Could I BE any more rested?!” I feel AMAZING.
I don’t know where that study got its data (actually, I do. Australia), but I’m not buying it.
The message is simple: Science is a liar.
Let’s hear it ladies:
We’re not tired! We’re not tired! We’re not tired! We’re no…….
What was I saying?
Oh yeah I have no idea what I was saying because I’m dangerously tired. I have 3 kids now so it’s a triple punch of exhaustion. There is no amount of coffee that can remedy this.
In case your baby is trying to crush your soul by not sleeping well, check out some baby sleep tips here.
A version of this post first appeared on A Mothership Down in August of 2014. It has been updated.