You guys you are NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS. But you have to believe it because it’s straight from Science:
This just in:
“Four months isn’t enough time for new moms to recover from the exhaustion of having a kid, a new study published in PLOSone reports.
New parents know the feeling: a shell-shocked, sleep-deprived, zombie-like state that manifests itself after too many nights of interrupted REM cycles.
Months into a new parenting adventure, even after an infant is beginning to sleep more regularly, data shows moms are often still sleep-deprived.”
That’s right folks. A study has shown that new mothers are dangerously tired for months.
Months!
Not days.
I know you all thought you’d only be tired for a few days postpartum. A week, tops.
I don’t know about you, but I was under the impression that new moms were well rested and just liked to pose as cracked out insomniacs.
I thought most new mothers celebrated the “haggard” look.
I know I do!
Of course I see all the new moms lined up at Starbucks, 2, 3, 4 times a day. But is it for the caffeine? Doubtful!
At least 9 out of 10 moms are there to buy the CDs they sell at the counter.
That is a fact.
All this time I’ve been telling women, “Hey, if you want to feel like a million bucks but can’t afford a resort, you should just have a baby and, you know, kick your feet up!”
What am I supposed to do now, take it back?
No way!
Parents everywhere know that the first year of a child’s life is a peaceful time in any family.
It is a year that leaves you feeling not only NOT TIRED, but actually refreshed!
Babies sleep quietly and uninterruptedly 104% of the time. (Time is measured differently for babies you guys. Again, it’s science).
Moms the world over use the immediate postpartum period for some much needed R&R.
And now this study comes along and tries to pull a fast one on us, ladies.
Well I’m not buying it. I’ve never felt (or looked!) better. I have my own scientific evidence for your consideration.
This is me before I got pregnant:
This is how I looked right before giving birth:
And this is how I looked 6 months postpartum:
I rest my case.
You can clearly see I’m getting better as we go along here.
My eyes seem to be saying, “Could I BE any more rested?!” I feel AMAZING.
Conclusion
I don’t know where that study got its data (actually, I do. Australia), but I’m not buying it.
The message is simple: Science is a liar.
Let’s hear it ladies:
We’re not tired! We’re not tired! We’re not tired! We’re no…….
What was I saying?
Oh yeah I have no idea what I was saying because I’m dangerously tired. I have 3 kids now so it’s a triple punch of exhaustion. There is no amount of coffee that can remedy this.
In case your baby is trying to crush your soul by not sleeping well, check out some baby sleep tips here.
A version of this post first appeared on A Mothership Down in August of 2014. It has been updated.
I love this blog! And I totally agree that Mom’s are well rested! I am SO well rested after having a 9 month old son that zzzzzzzzz……. Sorry. I fell asleep on my keyboard for a sec.
Yeah…my son isn’t so good at the whole ‘sleep’ thing. Thank goodness he’s cute.
Thanks Jennifer! I posted this after pulling what was basically an all-nighter with Nolan, who decided that he was on speed between 2-6 am. It was awesome.
Oh, and you should see me today. I look AMAZING!
Yep, I posted the ground-breaking study….. It’s a real eye opener. haha. But gives us sleep people something to post about!
Love it Susie! For you and all the sleep people out there, I hope Australia continues to fund this research! 🙂
I actually was feeling pretty good by the time C was about 3 months old. Too bad he hit the 4 month sleep regression a couple weeks later and stopped sleeping for a good 2 1/2 months… There was a (somewhat recent? I dunno, sleep deprivation has done a number on my memory) study on the optimal length of maternity leave and it was something like 6 or 7 months, part of the reasoning being sleep patterns normalizing for the baby and the Mom no longer being a destructive force behind the wheel of a vehicle. I’d read it but on the weekends, I’m back to napping when the baby naps, for my own sanity and safety.
Yeah, 6-7 months is way more reasonable. Three months in and you’re still like someone who was hit by a 2×4 and is just regaining consciousness. Then comes the teeth, then the regressions. Wait what am I saying, 7 months is too short, we need like 4 years.
Key to success: Getting the kid to be cool with laying in his crib for that last 15 minutes of sleep when you’ve hit the snooze for the 3rd time. We’re still working on it. Right now he just yells “heeyyy mom! Dad! heyyyyy! i’m on my tummy! heyyyyy! heyyyy!” It comes out like “ahhhhh?! ahh. daaaaaaaaaa. ahhhhhhhhh.”
Ahhh I try for this too. But Nolan’s voice (though beautiful) is much like a giant pterodactyl. It’s piercing and not at this time compatible with my sleep 🙂
Hilarious! I was never tired, nuh-uh, not me. And I’m not tired now, with three kids, one of whom still takes up over half my bed! I’d hazard to say I’m PERKY!
Ha! This comment made me laugh out loud 🙂 “I’d hazard to say I’m PERKY!” Wish I used that…
Where was this ground breaking news when I was pregnant?!? Or even before then… The best part is when they finally do sleep, and you can’t because you’ve hit Starbucks one too many times that day. There is a diabolical plan at work here. I’m sure of it.
I always wondered who bought the CDs at Starbucks…
I love being a mom! I have extra time to blow dry my hair, read a book, I finally got around to hanging all those pictures up, and Ive caught up on all my scrapbooking!
BRB, my cabana boy just finished setting up my pool chair,..
This sounds really amazing. I can’t believe I don’t have a cabana boy! Or a cabana.