Guys, did you get a look at this? The lady who dragged her baby on the train of her wedding gown??
Here’s the article link: A Tennessee woman has come under fire for her decision to attach her newborn daughter to the train of her wedding dress and drag her as she walked down the aisle.
I love this news story so much. It’s so unbelievably great but in a totally messed up way that might lead to social service intervention, but probably won’t on account of the fact that there is no precedent for this sort of thing in social services.
That’s because most people are not crafty enough to think to adhere their baby to their gown. And also because the social worker assigned to the case may be on the side of the guests that enjoyed this display and were moved to tears by its beauty. Seriously.
Here is a visual, in case you have trouble with imagination:
Well. This is genius. It’s baby-wearing 2.0. While I’ve been trying to figure out babywearing for beginners, this mom just skipped over all the regular lessons and was like, you know what, I got this.
As the mother of an infant myself, I understand the challenges of trying to carry your baby while also doing other important tasks, like the laundry. And getting married. I know it’s hard to figure out how to juggle it all.
Some of us take the well-trodden path (BORING!) of using our arms. Some of us like baby carriers, or strollers. And others of us like to tie our newborns to our dresses and drag them on the floor. All good choices.
That baby is one month old. ONE MONTH OLD! How many kids can say that they got dragged down the aisle that young? Not many!
Even if I were to renew my vows with Brian tomorrow, and even if I could find a way to secure Nolan onto my gown, he would still be 7 months behind this little girl. Maybe if he gets married someday we can arrange for me to be dragged down the aisle on his bride’s train. It will be a good impetus for me to stay get slim.
So anyway, this madness got me to thinking about the various ways I’ve carried Nolan.
Since I was a kid I’ve always really liked bags and satchels and backpacks. Not like fancy lady-purses, but more the type of bag that I imagined explorers would use. I coveted anything leather that came from a roadside “Trading Post.” I fancied myself an adventurer and needed to look the part. So when I realized that there was also an option to pretend I was an adventurous/natural mom, I was in.
As a new mom I became obsessed with researching baby carriers. It was easy to get swept up in the excitement once I discovered that there was this whole super hardcore category of moms who “wear” their babies what appears to be ALL THE TIME. A lifelong joiner, I was all, “Yes! This is my thing and these are my people!”
But then Nolan got pretty fat.
I realized that in reality I could only carry my pork chop around in small doses. Like for errands, not so much for entire vacations through Europe (note: We have not gone on any vacations to Europe with the baby. It’s just that in my imagination, I fancied myself the type of mom who would wear my baby around if we did).
All this being said, I have benefited a lot from using baby carriers. They were especially helpful when Nolan was really little, and now when I want to run into the store or take a short walk they’re great.
So, with that usefulness in mind, here are some alternatives to dragging your baby behind you on a gown:
The Moby Wrap
My first wrap was a Moby Wrap. Given to me as a hand-me-down, as soon as I saw the ridiculous length of the damn thing I put it right out of my sight. I flipped it off and banished it to the closet.
I have limited manual dexterity accompanied by a fear of getting tangled up in fabrics, and it was like this thing was taunting me. The Moby did not look like the carrier for me, although its “simplicity” (simple for something requiring a PhD in wrapping) did appeal to my imagined notion of myself as “natural” and “kind of hippy.”
The Moby sat there for weeks until one day I came across a You Tube video and realized that I could totally do this!
Do not be intimidated, the Moby is really easy! Yeah there are like 50 steps and you have to swirl it around and around your body in a form of elaborate interpretive dance, but once you get it you will feel like a total badass.
I’d recommend the Moby for really little babies, although allegedly you can carry 3 year olds in it. I can’t imagine this, but then again I only studied the most basic wrap. I’m not super advanced and also, who wants to lend me a toddler to practice on?
Pros: It’s cozy, soft, and you will impress people who are watching you put it on.
Cons: It drags on the ground when you’re getting the baby into it, which really sucks in the winter when there’s snow and slush to contend with. The K’Tan is a lot like the Moby but smaller, with less fabric and less intricate wrapping. It’s the lazy man’s Moby. I like it.
The Ergo
The Ergo is really great. At first I thought it was super difficult to put on. Like, I would be sweating and panicking and get tangled in it. But then I realized that it’s not difficult at all, I was just doing it wrong. Watch the online videos carefully and take your time practicing on an inanimate object. I was not ready for a live baby to start with. My bad.
Pros: The Ergo has amazingly soft/sturdy fabric, great support for your baby, and has a pocket! The pocket is a huge help during errands. There’s enough room for your credit card, keys, and at least 10 strips of bacon. The Ergo is great as your baby grows past the newborn stage.
Cons: The Infant Insert needed for tiny babies is cumbersome, and I was always worried because I couldn’t see if Nolan’s airways were open. I’m the kind of mom who likes to see the airways.
I’d recommend it for larger/older babies. I also have trouble wearing it for long periods without getting shoulder strain, but this varies depending on your body type.
Send me a private message if you want all of my detailed personal measurements, so you can compare your body with mine and make a guess as to whether this carrier will work for you.
The Beco Gemini
The Beco Gemini is a beauty. It’s the Cadillac of Carriers (wait are Cadillacs still fancy? Were they ever fancy? I’m meaning to indicate that this carrier is fancy).
The Beco is super easy to put on, and your baby can face forward. Some people are against forward facing babies on account of the idea that it will scar them for life to have too much visual stimulation on a walk, or something along those lines. I’m not really sure. Nolan seems to dig it. I’d ask your baby.
Pros: Really easy to use; super comfortable; pretty designs; multiple carrying options.
Cons: No pocket! Material isn’t as soft as the Ergo or Moby,
And let me just throw it out there that strollers also work nicely, even if they don’t make you look like a natural/hippy/adventurer. They can really give your back a needed break, you know?
I love my Bumbleride Stroller. I have the Indie jogger. Have I used it more than once to jog? Hell no! Did I imagine myself jogging with it regularly? Of course! But still, it’s nice for walks and rides like a bike.
You still need a little stroller that folds up for errands, like the Key Fit Caddy.There’s nothing really cool about this stroller unless you prize things like reasonable price and practicality, in which case, it’s a winner.
Above is a photo of Nolan and me at the chiropractor. Something about growing a human inside you, having major abdominal surgery to get said child out, cocking your arm and neck at weird angles around the clock breastfeeding, lugging around a 25 pound carseat, and taking walks with your baby strapped to your chest has sent me straight to the chiropractor.
It’s weird.
Dr. Bill Nolan (my Nolan is not his namesake, but maybe should have been) has saved me many times during pregnancy (screw you, sciatica! Dr. Bill will GET YOU!) and the postpartum period. Thanks Dr. Bill!
What carriers/strollers/gowns do you use to carry your baby? What’s the best and worst you’ve found so far?
So glad you wrote about this crazy baby on the gown train story. And I totally echo your sentiment of wanting to be one of these intense baby carrying moms. My lo is still just 16 weeks old, so I’m still trying. I haven’t tried the back, might need to try that. They are just all so darn expensive! But we do love our ergo and loved our boba (like the Moby) when he was a newborn. Just wanted to comment since I like to think I am also a natural hippie (and hip) mom but totally am not living up to it. 🙂
It’s hard when you can’t live up to your pretend version of yourself! I fight this daily…Someday I will be a natural hip mom, but I know I have to overhaul my entire lifestyle to achieve this, and I’m just too tired to try that right now.
The pork chop line really got me, too funny. He’s a wicked cute pork chop!
Thanks! He is a cute pork chop, I agree. A cute, incredibly dense and hard to carry pork chop.
Baby Bjorn carrier was a hit! Moby was great when they are tiny. I think somewhere around 15 lbs they start to cause back problems. We also have a Kelty backpack carrier if you do end up hiking in the woods like a fancied adventurer and want to borrow it 🙂
I might take you up on the Kelty offer. Especially if I visit the island, and adopt my “Island Liz” persona. Island Liz will need the Kelty Backpack.
This literally had me in tears laughing on the T this morning – to the point people were staring at me, so thank you 🙂 I researched the crap out of carriers and landed on the Ergo and I have to say I’m not a total fan. It hurts my lower back (21 wk old is 16.5lbs) and I think he would rather face out… so now I’m looking at used Bjorn’s on ebay. You just can’t win!
I know! It’s so hard. I read a ton of reviews but I think what matters most is how it fits on your body and if your baby takes to it. The Beco is really comfortable for my back, I have to say…Although most comfortable for my back is the stroller/having Brian carry the baby 🙂
Another LOL-funny post – thanks Liz! I was also scared by the moby and all the wrapping… we registered for one of the super basic carriers that just go over your shoulders and that worked well until about 15 pounds at which point I started having flashbacks to pregnancy back pain and we ordered an ergo. The ergo is much better (love the pockets too!) but I still don’t get how people wear them for any serious length of time… I live in a touristy area and there are always TINY little (European?) women carrying around babies without a stroller in site… I always feel like asking them if they are secretly plotting a return to their hotel or if they are trying to prove something by walking the entire freedom trail with a baby strapped to them… I just can’t do it… I’ve decided that admitting to the fact that I don’t enjoy having a 25 pound nugget strapped to me while I try to walk is nothing to be ashamed of… perhaps a maxi skirt and some intricate sewing is in order?
Yeah I think some moms are built a little sturdier than I am. I want to walk to Freedom Trail with a baby strapped to me, damnit!
As someone who has lazily reaped the benefits of your extensive research, I want to thank you Liz for letting me test drive the Beco. I love it! And I was able to hawk my back breaking Ergo to a mom in the container store parking lot thanks to the internet wieldings of the one and only Amanda Symmes, MSW. Thanks mom friends
You’re welcome, Courtney. And thank YOU for the tagline “Doing the World’s Toughest Job, and Looking Sexy Doing it!” It’s a quid pro quo relationship.
When your child gets older, consider twine. Last Sunday, a Staten Island guy was arrested. Apparently with his girlfriend’s permission, he attached her 5-year old son to his motorcycle using twine, around the boy’s feet and waist. Safety first. He didn’t forget the helmet. It was just very large and shifted a lot, on the boy’s head. Is twine the new duct tape?
What in the?? I missed this one. Good thing he asked permission first, that makes it sound safe.
I loved my Beco carrier but my kids were big babies. Second one was 20 lbs by 5 months (mama makes milkshakes?) so I had to abandon carriers earlier than I would have liked. 🙁 Oddly, I needed physical therapy for my back and neck when my babies were nurslings too!
Wow, that IS a big baby! I feel like Nolan is a giant, and he hit 20 lbs. at around 7 months. Hefty babies are cute but seriously, they owe us for the chiro payments.
I can’t believe you haven’t tried the ring sling. That thing is amazing, he can sit any way he wants. Even on your back when he gets a little older. LOVE IT!
Hmm I remember this from when I was doing all my overzealous reading on baby carriers, but I never followed up and got one. It sits kind of on your hip usually, right? I may be interested in that, it seems like if you’re eating and the baby is in the carrier you’re less likely to dump food on their head. I could use that edge.
Beco gemini all the way I got two!! One for each baby but my all time fav for stiller thus far is the joovy twin too for any twin mamas out there! This bad boy is literally a metal frame that fold up like a jewel and u can throw the infant carriers right in it GENIUS!!! Of course till they can’t fit in those anymore then it’s on like donkey kong! Btw that lady is a freak she gives southern folk a bad name!!!
Oops that was stroller and twin roo damn auto correct, I don’t want it corrected I meant to type that!!!!
Courtney at first I was picturing you with two baby carriers on at once, but then it occurred to me that probably you wear one and your husband wears one! haha. Double carrying would be super impressive, I’ve seen photos of some moms doing that with their wraps but it looks really complicated to me. Impressive but complicated.