I really couldn’t be less crafty if I tried, and I think Pinterest just wants to hurt me

So, today’s post was meant to be a Valentine’s Day craft that would be perfect for Pinterest. Perfect! I was like, you know, this is going to go viral on Pinterest. This will be the Valentine’s Day craft of all time. People will go nuts for this craft.

Now mind you this was based on nothing other than sheer hope and the fact that I really have no idea what sort of crafts go viral on Pinterest.

I suck at Pinterest and can never get my act together over there, but as a “mom blogger” I’m well aware that Pinterest is a place that I should embrace.

The ideas! The inspiration! The crafts!

And yet I just can’t get it together. Some long-time readers of the blog will recall that I have some serious deficits when it comes to certain domestic tasks, and crafting is a close cousin to the domestic task category if you ask me.

Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum is my friend Kelly. Kelly is super crafty – every time I’m at her house with Nolan she has some adorable craft project set up for the kids – gingerbread houses and whatnot. I don’t know how she does it. This is so far out of my wheelhouse that it seems like magic.

How does she know how to do this stuff??

It’s easy, she assures me. She grew up doing crafts. It’s second nature to her, like eating tacos from the drive thru is second nature to me. It’s in her blood.

Anyway, I asked Kelly if she would come over and show me and some kids (and by “some kids” I mean my kid, her kid, and two of their little friends from Kindergarten. Not just like a pack of random kids we found on the street) how to do a Valentine’s Day craft for the blog.

Kelly was all about this because as I mentioned crafting is in her blood and this plan didn’t make her want to jam a glue stick into her eye the way it made me want to.

My idea was that she could walk the kids through the craft, and I would take some photos for the blog and write up the steps, like a little crafty tutorial.

I was in charge of getting the supplies for the crafts. My supply list was very basic:

• Construction paper in various colors
• Red, pink, or white string
• Paper plates
• Red, pink or white ribbon
• Glue sticks
• Scissors

Easy, right?

WRONG

I almost had a meltdown in Michael’s, that giant craft store that just wants to confuse me by not making it clearer if string and yarn are kind of the same thing when it comes to crafts.

I had SEVERAL questions for Kelly during this short mission to procure supplies.

• How sturdy should the paper plates be?
• Why does Michael’s want to hurt me?
• Is this yarn?

Anyway, Kelly did her part. She walked the kids through the craft, which they loved. I did one part of my part, which was to take photos. But they are kind of crappy photos and not really the kind that seem to “shine” on Pinterest.

Kelly had two different crafts for the kids to do – a heart wreath (cute!) and also a little 3D heart hanging thing. Also cute!

But about, I dunno, when the crafts were basically done I realized that I don’t really know what steps she took, and I didn’t write them down. And I really can’t be bothered to try to reverse engineer the steps to explain them to crafty moms on Pinterest.

So I decided that I wasn’t going to do a crafty little tutorial at all, I was just going to write this post about the fact that I can’t deal with crafty parenting and that I don’t think this should be an expectation along with all of the other parental expectations, like feeding my kids and taking them to their physicals.

Note: I’m under the weather today and if I rally this afternoon I may get a second wind and try to write out the steps to this craft so that I can indeed find fame and glory over on Pinterest, my enemy platform. Time will tell. If that happens I’ll let you know and encourage you to pin it far and wide….

Update:

I did it you guys. I wrote the real post about how to make these bad boy crafty wreaths. I said Liz, you can do this. Do not be scared of children’s crafts.

That’s right Pinterest, GAME ON.