Today I turned 36. I’m kind of getting old, but not super old. Just kind of worn. Like a couch that doesn’t need to be reupholstered, exactly, but that could use some throw pillows to perk it back up a bit. (Note: If anyone wants to get me a birthday present I’d totally be into a gift card from Home Goods. I worked that whole “throw pillow” bit in there just now as a form of subtle subliminal messaging to my loved ones, and then realized that I don’t have time to play around here. Best just to be direct. I WANT THROW PILLOWS).
This appears to be a picture of little Liz from a birthday past. Please take a moment to fully appreciate the glory of this wallpaper, as it provides an amazing backdrop for my birthday party.
Anyway, here is a run-down of the things I am doing or have already done for fun on my birthday:
1. Slept in until 6:45. Boom! Thanks for your cooperation Nolan. (Note: In my 20s I would have been horrified that sleeping until 6:45 was a luxury. For my current self, this is the equivalent of sleeping until noon).
2. Ate leftover spaghetti bolognese with as much shredded parmesan as I could fit on my bowl. For “second breakfast.” That’s a thing, you guys.
3. Going to Dunks! So help me God if there is a delivery truck blocking the drive-thru lane today. Unacceptable on my special day.
4. Going to Marshall’s, Home Goods, or TJ MAXX (Wherever the wind may take me! I will not be restricted on this day! Might even double down and go to two of these stores. Again, my day).
5. Organizing my home office. Oooh, that reminds me that I need to show you guys my new home office at some point. I have been getting it set-up for a few weeks but it still needs a little work. As part of my birthday gift to myself I’ll be hanging some photos and also filing some papers. No big deal. It’s just how I roll).
6. Running 2 miles on my treadmill and also doing some rehabilitative strengthening exercises for my back, as prescribed by my chiropractor. What, that doesn’t sound like fun to you? I’m 36 you guys. These parts aren’t as well-oiled as they once were. Upkeep is important at my age.
7. Reading my new HGTV Magazine! Not while on the toilet. While on the couch. Because it’s my birthday. I will look at pictures of beautiful and organized houses and pretend I live in them and pretend that the dishwasher is empty and the laundry is done! Which is basically the same thing as emptying the dishwasher and folding the laundry, so two birds one stone here.
8. Blowdrying my hair for my date tonight. And by date I mean early-bird special with both Brian and Nolan. There are worse things than being taken to dinner by not one but two very handsome men. And I don’t want to brag, but 50% of my dates have full control over their bowels.
9. Take full control of the tv remote. I haven’t discussed this with Brian, but I’m pretty sure that on my birthday he’ll let me have at it. He’s considerate that way.
10. Enjoying a glass or two of red wine that is valued at at least $10 for the bottle. Again, extravagant, but I just feel like on my 36th birthday I should take a step up from the $4-$7 bottles I usually gravitate toward.
Don’t worry, I’m only leading this high-end lifestyle for the day. Tomorrow I’ll be back to planet Earth.